Joburg
Cape Town
Port Elizabeth
Having now lived in all three of these cities, I feel qualified to observe the following:
Parties
Joburg
In Joburg, all parties are like the ones you had in junior school, before you got to high school. Everyone dresses like they dress because that’s how they felt like dressing and they thought it looked nice in the mirror. People speak to strangers (you get used to this) and the goths hang out with the indie kids and the trendoids and electro junkies. There’s a general “we don’t care” kind of atmosphere. Most parties feel like the inside of a Lenny Kravitz music video, people dancing on tables, passed out in the garden and so on.
Cape Town
In Cape Town, parties are like your first high school party. People have started growing hair in strange places, everyone’s deathly afraid of talking to the wrong person and people wear what they wear because that’s what *Wallpaper said they should wear. Death be upon anyone seen in the wrong clique. Imagine the most exclusive, underground, obscure party you've ever not gone to and you're still nowhere close.
Port Elizabeth
There are no parties in Port Elizabeth.
Driving
Joburg
You buy a convertable to fit in.
Cape Town
You buy a convertable to stand out.
Port Elizabeth
Fuck it man, just walk there.
Throwing Cigarettes Out Of Car Windows
Joburg
Culturally acceptable. No mountain to burn.
Cape Town
You will be hunted down and destroyed. Mountain that burns.
Port Elizabeth
You will be branded a hoodlum and a vagabond and can expect an angry letter to the paper come Sunday.
A Traffic Circle Is...
Joburg
...actually a four-way stop.
Cape Town
...confusing as all hell.
Port Elizabeth
...the next venue Prime Circle is playing at.
The Coast
Joburg
Spoken about in hushed whimsical tones. No swimming besides The Valley Of The Waves.
Cape Town
Beautiful pristine white beaches filled with supermodels and celebs. No swimming due to ice in the water.
Port Elizabeth
Mine dumps on beaches. Swimmable and warm.
Dialog
Joburg
People speak like they speak in soapies. I never knew South African soap operas were based on fact.
Cape Town
People speak to the people they know.
Port Elizabeth
People speak to the people they know. Both of them.
Geography
Joburg
In Africa.
Cape Town
A small offshoot of Europe that drifted here, at least according to the people living there.
Port Elizabeth
Built on an Indian burial ground.
10 comments:
This is the way it is. Living happily in Cape Town is a true art form which I mastered slowly and carefully. I am now at peace.
Sheer Brilliance. And scarily true...
Funny. And true :-) I didn't understand the bit about people speaking like they speak in soapies? (Maybe if I watched soapies, I'd understand.)
PS. Nice photos!
@kay
Everyone in Joburg just sounds like a soap opera character to me, it's like being in a movie and you can spot the character archetypes a mile away.
There's the driven businessman, the shallow pretty girl, the tormented artist and so on :)
PE is so much better than joburg and Cape Town
@Anonymous, I've tried to bash each city equally although PE did get the brunt of it, just because I grew up there. Don't take it too seriously :)
I have lived in all three places too. I grew up in PE too and I have been slightly more critical of it than the other places. Maybe when you're young you want to get out, move away and you always look at that place where you grew up with a more critical eye.
lol @ indian burial ground... :)
If you want to swim in warm water just piss in it man. Do NOT try to piss in the atlantic ocean (camps bay and sea point beach) your dick will just fall off instantaneously, but no need to piss in the indian ocean (Kalk bay and St James beach side) because other blokes already pissed in the water so that its nice and warm. Just remember to keep your mouth close when you swim and by the way watch out for Sharks and Seals bigger than you. (Seriously, you just might have a heart attack bumping into a massive seal). Other than that Njoy all Cape Town has to offer - Crime, scenary, etc.
brilliant
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