Things I've Eaten Lately

Biltong

Biltong is beef jerky. Basically. Dried meat (kudu, beef, ostrich, springbuck, etc) and spices. It's something to be ridiculously proud of, as a South African. I sincerely doubt it’s as good as I think it is.

But I’m still not going to stop thinking that way.

I ate this for breakfast on the way to Kysna, in the car, driving through the burnt veldt and blasted bush between here and there. I will miss my car when I leave the country. I owned two rusty VW Golfs, illegally, before this car. Getting a driver’s license is not the easiest thing in the world on this side of the world. You can wait up to a year for a test and if you mess it up, you’ll wait another year.

Vida e Café Chorico Misto & Coffee

Vida is the best coffee shop, in the world. Their only downfall is that they’re incredibly trendy and incredibly expensive. I imagine I would like the place more if other people didn’t. They base their menu on Portuguese style food from West Africa.

I enjoyed my roll and coffee outside the front of their Knysna branch. For some reason, in Knysna, they bring your food to you, instead of yelling out your order number. This may be because there’re less people there.

My friends, Carl, an eco-car specialist and general do-gooder and Angie, an online fashion journalist, meet me there and we drive to their holiday place, overlooking the Knsyna heads.

Boerewors, Sosaties And Garlic Bread

Boerewors is traditional South African sausage. According to Wikipedia, Sosaties are

Sosatie (pl sosaties) is a traditional South African entree. The term derives from sate ("skewered meat") and saus (spicy sauce). It is of Cape Malay origin, used in Afrikaans, the primary language of the Cape Malays, and the word has gained greater circulation in South Africa.

Carl prepared these on the braai while we caught up and watched the sun set. I burnt my fingers taking the garlic bread off the fire. We then drank an acceptable amount of beer and Jagermeister. I passed out on a chair in the middle of the first Nightmare On Elm Street movie. I own the box set so the irony of falling asleep during a movie, in which the main character attacks you, in your sleep, is not entirely justified.

The Best Pizza In The World

A small padstal (roadside shop) had been recommended to us. Apparently, they sell “the best pizza in the world”. When we got there, there were several messages on the walls, scrawled in thick black pen from previous visitors, about how much they had enjoyed “the best pizza in the world”.

This was not the best pizza in the world. It was just a tribute (I have stolen this joke and several others, unashamedly, from Carl).

A very, very good tribute.

Maybe it was the best pizza in the world and I just haven’t eaten enough pizza in other parts of the world yet.

This was breakfast before we went into the Cango Caves. Once again, we must turn to Wikipedia.

The Cango Caves are located in Precambrian limestones at the foothills of the Swartberg range near the town of Oudtshoorn in the Western Cape Province of South Africa. The principal cave is one of the country's finest, best known and most popular tourist caves and attracts many visitors from overseas. Although the extensive system of tunnels and chambers go on for over four kilometers, only about a quarter of this is open to visitors, who may proceed into the cave only in groups supervised by a guide. Tours are conducted at regular intervals on most days - there is a "Standard Tour" which takes an hour and an "Adventure Tour" which takes an hour and a half. The "Adventure Tour" consists of crawling through narrow passages and climbing up steep rock formations guided by small lights. The caves contain spectacular halls and grand limestone formations (on both tours) as well as some rather small passages on the Adventure Tour. The smallest passage that tourists will have to pass through on the Adventure Tour is just under 30 cm high at the exit.

The caves have an amazing way of making you realise just how soft and squishy you are, compared to several tons of solid rock. They are also incredibly beautiful.

Luckily, none of us got stuck.

Thai Prawn Curry

From the Firefly Eating House.

This is only the second time in my entire life I’ve eaten prawns. Which I’m ashamed of considering I’ve always lived by the coast, I’ve just never really developed a taste for seafood. The first time I ate prawns, I had to be incredibly drunk and it nearly ended a relationship.

Unfortunately, I didn’t enjoy them that much however everyone else seemed to enjoy their food immensely. There is nothing worse than food envy.

We went to two other restaurants before this. However, they were both on a recently developed island for the Mac Nouveau Rich. The first turned us away. Or at least, told us that the kitchen was closed. This may have been because we were lost and so we circled their parking lot several times. During this time, we were listening to AC/DC. Very loudly. With the windows down. It was hot.

You don’t realise how quiet everything around you is until you get out of a very loud car.

We didn’t even bother going into the second restaurant after we saw the velvet lined chairs and neon green placemats.

After our trip to the Cango Caves and dinner, it was deemed necessary that we watch The Descent. I made it three quarters into the movie before other people wanted to go to sleep. I watched the rest the next morning.

Knsyna Heads Club Sandwich

This sandwich consists of a layer of tuna-mayo, a layer of bacon and cheese and a layer of egg. Worth every cent.

This provided enough sustenance for us to make it to Birds of Eden, which is the largest aviary in the world.

Beef Nachos

From the Surf Café. The worst beef nachos, in the world. Ever.

Chips.

An unhealthy supper.

Omelette.

Unknown restaurant.

Dodgy Sandwich.

Petrol station.

Toast.

In front of laptop. Typing.